The Predicament of Pornography

Author's name withheld for privacy

            Around 40 percent of people across the world have access to the Internet (J.Stevens, "Internet Statistics and Facts for 2016").  The use of the Internet has increased dramatically in the 21st century.  The world has come to rely on it.  In many ways it is a blessing.  It is easy, efficient, and convenient to be able to pull out a smartphone at any time and search for every bit of information one desires to know.  At the same time, the Internet can be a curse.  Sin corrupts everything.  The World Wide Web is used as a money-maker for businesses like pornography.  After the advent of video websites such as Youtube and Dailymotion, it was realized that money could be acquired through the combination of the Internet and the sexual desires that all young people and adults have.  Internet pornography started and websites such as Pornhub were launched.  God declares that sexual sins and lust are forbidden.  He says, “Keep to a path far from an adulteress woman, do not go near the door of her house” (Proverbs 5:8).  God gives the reason why we should stay away from sexual sins: “In the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword.  Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave” (Proverbs 5:4-5).  Although God condemns adultery, sexual sins are some of the most prevalent and openly accepted sins of the world.

            Pornography is a major trap for many male teens and young adults.  Statistics show that many people view their first explicit video before the age of 13.  Also, around 30,000 Americans are watching pornography every second and 40 million watch it regularly (Webroot, "Internet Pornography by the Numbers: A Significant Threat to Society").  The world does not see the viewing of pornography as harmful and wrong, but that it is normal, fun, and even healthy.  Many Christians also give in to this idea.  These notions are fallacies.  Pornography changes the attitudes of men, the relations they have with women, and their ability to think properly.

            It is debated whether or not pornography is addictive.  In fact, pornography is as addictive as any drug.  Drugs are used to obtain a reward, which is a temporary feeling of pleasure.  This is the same as the reward that comes from viewing porn.  The only difference is that the watching of explicit videos creates sexual relief.  This causes its addictive quality.  A person can begin by watching pornographic videos every so often, but, if he were to continue living with his sin, he would want to watch them more frequently.  His desire to feel the pleasure that comes from porn would increase until he is addicted.  For some people, the addiction has such a firm control in their lives that it is hard for them to think about anything else.

            In addition to the addictive qualities of pornography, it causes men to objectify women.  It leads them to view women as sexual tools with neither personalities nor feelings.  Pornography can provoke even more problems than this for men.  It can make them unsatisfied with their relationships with women.  Pornography destroys relationships and corrupts a man’s attitude toward sex.  The videos will create impossible sexual fantasies in his mind and he will want to act them out with a real person.  He will try to achieve his dreams with a woman, but after realizing that sex with a real woman is not the same as what he sees in videos, he will believe that having those is better than getting to know a woman.  The only thing that can satisfy him is pornography.  Porn can also cause tensions in marriage.  I have heard a story where a wife discovered that her husband watched sexual videos.  The woman asked herself why her husband needed to watch those videos; she believed she was not sufficient for him.  She felt betrayed, naive, and hurt.  This married couple was Christian, and after their initial dispute, they sought Christian counseling and are now thriving together.  The husband’s pornography problem could have easily ruined their marriage.  Pornography is a deadly cycle that can have horrible consequences if it is discovered.

            I personally have had problems with pornography.  As a Christian, being caught in the cycle of porn felt like a trap.  I desired that the cycle would stop, but the addiction prevented me from abandoning it.  The incredible guilt of my sin pulled me to my knees until I felt like I could not stand.  Many emotions raced through my body.  When I first started watching the videos, I thought porn was fine and it would not turn into a habit.  Later, I realized it was becoming a problem, and I made attempts to quit the sin on my own.  After my attempts failed, I felt hopeless and depressed, believing that I was too enveloped in my sin for God to forgive me.

            All of this information can seem frightening, especially if you are caught in sexual sins of your own; however, I was wrong in believing that there was no hope.  The apostle Paul said, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).  With faith in God, anything is possible.  If you are a Christian caught in the cycle of porn like I was, I understand the guilt you feel because of your sins.  First of all, it is important to realize that no matter how many dozens or even hundreds of times you commit the sin, Jesus will forgive you.  David, a man prone to sexual sin himself, wrote, “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock in whom I take refuge, he is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold” (Psalm 18:2).  You can always confide in Jesus.  Run to him and his Word when you feel the temptation to give in to sexual desires.  Secondly, it is important to realize that it is difficult to rid yourself of the sin on your own.  Talk to somebody who can encourage and instruct you through God’s Word.  I went to a Christian counselor who helped me struggle through my sin.  Your help does not have to come from a counselor.  It can be from a parent, relative, or even a close friend.  Just make sure that you can trust your encourager.  This confidant can be your accountability partner who helps you stay clean and free from pornography.  Third, understand that the process of leaving a sin is a long journey.  You will slip and fall many times.  It is most important that, when you do fall, you get back up with the help of God.

            With the forgiveness and strength of Jesus Christ you can fight and overcome the temptations the devil hurls at you.  Do not give up and do not lose hope.  

*****************

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:37-39).

Learning lessons about friendship

by Megan Koester

This letter is written to those I wished had been my friends in grade school, or the ones that were my friends, but as the years went on they faded away due to rumors and bad reputations.

 *****************

Dear schoolmates,

                We have been going to school together for a few years now, but there are times that we do not all get along. Some days we are all the best of friends and we all play together at recess, but on other days none of you want to be seen with me. I am writing this to explain my side of the story and to hopefully better understand why things are the way they are.

                I know that no one is perfect and that is why feelings can be hurt. What happens is we do not always put others above ourselves; everyone is guilty of it. I also understand that it is easy sometimes to leave people out without realizing it, but I’m hoping this letter can make you realize it. You might also hear things about people and believe them to be true, but that is not always the case.

                I look to the eighth commandment when struggling with a possible rumor. As the commandment says, “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor” (Exodus 20:16). When you get told something about someone and you are not sure it is true, the best step is to talk to the person first. Ask whether or not it is true, because stories get made up or sometimes they get accidentally changed, like in the game telephone. Always keep that person’s reputation in mind. No matter what you hear, think of that person first and talk to them. There is an important proverb to remember in regard to gossip: “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret” (Proverbs 11:13).

                A true friend is someone who looks out for others and includes them in everything. All of us struggle with this and may leave people out. This can be for many reasons. It might even be because of the rumors you have heard about the person. Other times we leave people out because they do not fit in our group of friends. The problem never goes away. Even parents leave other adults out of an activity because they feel they do not belong.

                Think of the story of Zacchaeus. Jesus called him out of the tree and went to his house for dinner. Jesus’ disciples were unhappy about this because Zacchaeus they saw him as a dirty tax collector. Jewish tax collectors were disliked because they would cheat people out of more money than needed. The tax collectors would then keep that extra money for themselves. The disciples thought Zacchaeus did not deserve to be eating with their leader, our Savior. Jesus pointed out that he had come to earth to save everyone, and everyone was the same in God’s eyes. Everyone was covered in sins and needed their sins washed away.

                In our lives, everyone is different, yet we all are forgiven because of God’s love. We are loved, and we too want to love everyone because of Christ’s love in us. One of my favorite passages is 1 John 4:19 - “We love because he first loved us.” This is, of course, difficult for all of us to do because we are sinful, but because of God’s mercy and Jesus’ death we are forgiven.

                Next time you hear a rumor or are about to leave someone out of your group, talk to the person. Take a moment to show the love that Jesus showed you. Go out and show that love to others because Jesus has filled us with much to share with everyone around.  I will continue to pray for you, and I ask that you continue to pray for me.

Your sister in Christ,

Megan

God's Trustworthy Word

by Sarah Couture

This letter is addressed to someone doubting their faith and realizing that they are merely “going through the motions” of attending church. They often question and doubt that the Bible is, in fact, the Word of God.

My dear friend,

I know you have been struggling lately. First, I want to reassure you that you are not crazy. Having questions about the Bible and its teachings is completely normal. In fact, I think it is healthy to ask tough questions. You may feel like these concerns you have are driving a wedge between you and your Savior, but I truly believe that expressing your concerns and seeking answers will only bring you closer to the Lord.

              You have previously expressed that you are not completely convinced that the Bible is God’s complete and inspired Word.  I can understand this concern. Many Christians defend the validity of the Bible using circular reasoning. For scientiic thinkers, such as you, circular reasoning does not hold much weight. “The Bible is God’s Word because it says in the Bible that it is God’s Word” leads people like you to have further doubts and questions. I’d like you to take a step back and look things from a different angle. A friend once explained it to me this way:

              We have numerous accounts, outside of the Bible, that Jesus existed. In fact, we have more proof that Jesus existed than Julius Caesar.  Knowing that a man named Jesus existed is where we’ll start. Now let’s take a look at the resurrection. We see accounts of this event in all four of the Gospels. Each of these accounts provides a unique view and different details of the resurrection of Jesus. If the authors of the Bible were writing about a fictional event, they would try to keep their stories as vague as possible in order to not contradict each other. In reality, the testimonies are unique but never contradict each other. Furthermore, during this time in history, women had little to no power or influence. Therefore, if the disciples were trying to convince people of a fake resurrection, why would their accounts have women be the ones to find the empty tomb? Finally, after the resurrection many disciples were martyred for their beliefs. In the case of Peter, he was forced to watch his wife die before him, and was told that all he had to do was admit Jesus was not God and did not resurrect from the dead. None of the disciples gave in. If the resurrection was a lie, why would these men let their families and themselves be killed brutally? They would not.

              I know you have many other questions running through your brain. For so many years, you have gone to church and Bible study and believed everything that was taught to you because a master of theology with a white robe said it was the truth. Friend, I encourage you to voice your thoughts and concerns openly. Ask questions and seek answers.  I promise you that others have similar questions.  You will not be judged. People will not look down on you for asking challenging questions.  And if they do, they are not acting as proper ministers of the faith.  The fact that you are concerned about your lack of faith is comforting because it shows you continue to have faith.  Please do not be discouraged.  Read the Bible, especially on days you have doubts.  You'll be amazed how the Holy Spirit works through the Word.