If you see someone, be someone

“When Job’s three friends … heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. … They sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was” (Job 2:11,13).

If you see someone, be someone

Renae’s life had crashed in an instant. She had thought her husband was her soulmate, and her son had been her pride and joy.  But in midlife, her husband, Randy, had an affair.  She wanted to preserve their marriage, but now it seemed like a thousand-piece puzzle with no guide for aligning all the jagged edges. Then her adult son, Danny, was diagnosed with AIDS. He’d had HIV for a couple years before symptoms started to show. He hadn’t been one to do regular medical checkups, so the disease wasn’t discovered until his health began to deteriorate. The onset of AIDS also became the first time Danny told his parents that he was gay. He knew they held traditional views and would have a hard time accepting who he really was.

Indeed, Renae did have problems coming to terms with her son’s situation, as well as her husband’s infidelity. She wanted healing with Randy, but couldn’t stop herself from picking and gouging at the scabs of the hurt that existed between them. Her heart ached over Danny’s suffering, but she couldn’t bring herself to be at his side. She felt alienated from both her husband and her son.

Always an active church member, Renae felt cut off from her spiritual community too. No one called. No one stopped by—except her pastor.

“I don’t understand, Pastor Kim,” Reneae said. “I thought the people at church were my friends. It’s like I’m suddenly an outcast.”

“They tell me they don’t know what to say or do,” Pastor Kim responded. “I’ve urged them to come see you, to be with you—even if they don’t have all the answers. I don’t have all the answers either. Sometimes what the Lord wants us to learn from life’s struggles isn’t easy to see.”

“It seems all God wants is to punish me and give me trouble.”

“That’s not how God is. God is with us in our suffering, and wants us to be with one another in suffering. Speaking of which … how is Danny doing? Have you had opportunity to spend time with him?”

Renae stared at the floor.  “I don’t know what to say to him,” she said.

“It’s less about what you say and more about being there for each other. Danny needs your love, and you need his love too.”

“But … but he’s not who I thought he was,” she stammered.

“I reckon God as our Parent could say that about all of us—children who are different from what he envisioned for us. Or, as Isaiah described, we’re like sheep who ‘have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way’ (Isaiah 53:6). But God came to be with us. Jesus came to walk alongside us and was willing to carry our sorrows and infirmities. ‘He took up our pain and bore our suffering’ (Isaiah 53:4), and all our sins were laid upon him.  This is not a time to withhold your love from your son, Renae. There’s never such a time.”

“I guess all three of us need to try to understand each other and lean on each other,” Renae acknowledged. “Randy has been more supportive to Danny than I’ve been. He’s been spending time with Danny.”

“If there’s room in your heart to forgive Randy, I believe there’s room in your heart to be the mother your son needs.”

Job and His Friends by Ilya Repin [Public domain]

That Sunday, Pastor Kim addressed the congregation with a sermon about the friends of Job:

“Job’s friends came to him after his life had collapsed all around him. They didn’t really know what to say. In fact, as time went on, they said many of the wrong things. Read Job’s story if you want lessons on what not to say to someone in a crisis. But at least Job’s friends came. They cared enough to come and sit with him. They sat in the dirt for seven straight days before they attempted to say anything. Those days sitting on the ground beside their friend were perhaps the best way to offer compassion and comfort. This short life is long on problems. And in our problems, we need people to come and be with us—the way God himself came to be with us in our problem-plagued world.

“You’ve heard the expression, ‘If you see something, say something,’ referring to signs there may be trouble or a threat to safety. I have a similar message for you today. If you see someone, be someone.  When you see someone who is hurting, be someone who goes to that person. Be someone willing to sit in the dirt with someone who has been crushed down to the ground. Be someone who cares, someone who rebuilds and befriends. Be Christ to your neighbor, entering into their suffering, bringing compassion and hope.”

That week, Renae was visited by a number of her church friends. And Renae and Randy and Danny began reconnecting as a family. Things didn’t get easier, but they faced the challenges together.

DISCUSSION THOUGHTS:

• Do you know someone who could use an encouraging word, or just the encouragement of your presence? When will you reach out to them?
• If you need encouragement, who is someone that you can ask to come and sit in the dirt with you?

BIBLE PORTION TO READ:  Job chapter 2

PRAYER:

            Lord, give us friends when we need friends, and move us to befriend others when they need us. In Jesus, who came to suffer with us. Amen.

They are not dead, but sleeping

Image: Arlington National Cemetery, public domain, Wikimedia Commons

On this Memorial Day, I think back to the funeral of a military officer a number of years ago. I've adapted words that I shared on that day for the benefit of other families who have lost a loved one in military service.

This is for God's glory

Jesus had a very dear friend named Lazarus.  Lazarus’ sisters, Mary and Martha, also were very dear to Jesus. They lived in Bethany, a short distance outside Jerusalem. Jesus had been a guest in their home. They were followers of his. They believed his teachings and knew of his miracles. They relied on him as their Savior. So it was natural for them, when they had a problem, to turn to Jesus for help.

Lazarus had become ill. His sisters immediately sent word to Jesus. “Lord, behold, he for whom you have great affection is sick” (John 11:3). They assumed Jesus would come quickly; they knew Jesus could heal their brother.

However, when Jesus heard that Lazarus was sick, “he stayed two days in the place where he was” (John 11:6). In the meantime, Lazarus died. By the time Jesus came to Bethany, Lazarus had been in the grave already for a couple of days. Martha went out to meet him and said, “Lord, if you would have been here, my brother wouldn’t have died” (John 11:21). 

Think of the pain and bewilderment that Lazarus' sisters felt: “Jesus, you knew and loved this man; he knew and loved you. We told you he was sick. We called for you to come because we were in trouble. Yet you let him die. You dawdled for two days while he was breathing his last. Why, Lord, why? How could you do this? Why didn’t you help? You had the power to stop this, and instead you let our brother die! Why? Why?”

Dear families of those who have given their lives in the service of our country: You've ve likely asked yourselves similar questions concerning the loss of a loved one. “Why, Lord, why?” Such questions are never easily answered. But when we face a tragic and untimely death, the loss of someone who is beloved of Christ, the words and actions of Christ when Lazarus died give us some insight. There are three key things Jesus said and did at that time. When he first heard that Lazarus was sick, Jesus had said, “This sickness is not to death, but for the glory of God, that God’s Son may be glorified by it” (John 11:4). Then, speaking to his disciples about Lazarus’ death, Jesus said, “Our friend, Lazarus, has fallen asleep, but I am going so that I may awake him out of sleep” (John 11:11). To Martha, Jesus also gave an absolute promise:  “Your brother will rise again. … I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will still live, even if he dies” (John 11:23,25). Finally, to prove his words, Jesus came to Lazarus’ tomb, had the stone rolled away, and called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” (John 11:43) – and the dead man came out of his grave, once again alive.

What Jesus did for Lazarus is not fiction. It is not fairy tale. It is fact. What Jesus did for Lazarus he will do for each of his people who fall asleep in him. Yes, he calls it “falling asleep.” Several times Jesus used that expression to refer to people who died. Sometimes he was laughed at for speaking that way.  Once, at a wake where mourners were wailing over the death of a young girl, Jesus said, “Why do you make an uproar and weep? The child is not dead, but is asleep” (Mark 5:39). The mourners laughed and ridiculed him. But for Jesus, waking someone from death is no more difficult than waking someone from sleep. Death is not the end. It is a temporary state from which God, by his mighty power, will raise us up again. He will reconstruct each person, whether buried in the ground or scattered on the seas or blown apart in battle. The limits of our human mind may object to such a thought, but it us God’s truth. He guarantees it. And he has the authority and ability to do it. He did it for Lazarus, whom he dearly loved. He will do so for your loved ones too. He will raise each of us from our graves. We wait for the coming of the Last Day, when God's promise to resurrect every one of us in Christ will be fulfilled. 

The part of any death that’s hardest for us to understand is how such a thing could be for God’s glory. In Lazarus’ case, God’s purpose was seen rather quickly, within a few days. Jesus had said that Lazarus’ sickness would not end in death, and that God would be glorified. And so it was. The sickness brought about death, but the story didn’t end there. Death was reversed. The miracle was witnessed by many. The Son of God, Jesus, revealed his grace and power. The reputation of Jesus’ name grew, and people put their faith in him more and more. 

Where is the glory of God for those whose lives are cut short prematurely today? God’s glory is there, but it is painfully hard for us to see. Those loved by the Lord live on in the eternal light of the Savior. But at present, all we see is the emptiness that is left behind. We grieve. We feel their absence. And that hurts. For the families of lost service members, when they died, you died too. You died on the inside. And you didn’t get to wake up looking into the loving eyes of your Lord in heaven, as your departed loved one did. God has asked you to stay behind in this world, now especially bleak for you without your beloved in it. But the glory of God still will be revealed in this. God, who has crushed your spirit, will strengthen and support you and revive you again. He will uplift your soul. You will never be the same; your lives will be changed. But God will give you reasons to hope and will work to draw you closer to him than you’ve been before. His purpose in life, in death, in all things, is to bring each of us nearer to him in faith. He has a plan, even when horrible tragedy strikes, to bring about blessing for each of his children. Bu remember--he counts blessings in spiritual, not material terms. What matters most to God is increasing and deepening your reliance on him, so that your hearts will be ready on the day he chooses to call you home to himself, to go and be with him, where your loved one now has gone. 

You dear family members who are remembering lost loved ones, I know you know these things. I know that your faith in your Savior is still alive and breathing. Nevertheless, even as you hang onto hope in Jesus, you still will mourn. And no one can fully know how you feel. Friends  and acquaintances will have a sense of your loss, but few can relate to the depth of loss you’ve experienced. And you yourselves have never felt heartache as severe as this. But keep the faith and take courage in this: There is someone who has experienced the loss of his One and Only Son. The Father in heaven watched his own Son, Jesus, die a bloody, heart-wrenching, horrible death, nailed to a cross in agony. It was a death so devastating that the sun stopped shining when it happened. But it was not a death without purpose. Jesus’ death was for our ultimate and eternal good. By his death, Christ became our Redeemer from death. He has taken our lost loved ones on angels’ wings to be with him. And God will fully, miraculously restore the bodies of all his people in glory. We have hope in a Savior who will do these things for us and a Father who understands the pain we feel. We believe that God is glorious and great and good, and that the only reason he allows death to occur to us is as a way to usher us into the glory and greatness and goodness of heaven. That is where those who have died in the Lord have gone. By faith, that is where we will follow also.

Dear God, make it so.

Jesus turns and looks at us

Blessings to you during this Holy Week.  I'll offer a Holy Week message below.  Also, for Easter, e-books on Amazon are available for 99 cents each (from April 15 to April 22):

• The Lord Cares for Me: Stories and Thoughts on Psalm 23
• Faith Lives in our Actions: God's Message in James chapter 2

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Luke 22:54-62:

Christ before the High Priest by Gerard van Honthorst

         They seized him [Jesus], and led him away, and brought him into the high priest’s house. But Peter followed from a distance. When they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard, and had sat down together, Peter sat among them. A certain servant girl saw him as he sat in the light, and looking intently at him, said, “This man also was with him.”

         He denied Jesus, saying, “Woman, I don’t know him.”

         After a little while someone else saw him, and said, “You also are one of them!”

         But Peter answered, “Man, I am not!”

         After about one hour passed, another confidently affirmed, saying, “Truly this man also was with him, for he is a Galilean!”

         But Peter said, “Man, I don’t know what you are talking about!” Immediately, while he was still speaking, a rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the Lord’s word, how he said to him, “Before the rooster crows you will deny me three times.” He went out, and wept bitterly. 

Jesus turns and looks at us

by David Sellnow

That look of Jesus when Peter denied him – what did that look look like?   Luke only tells us that Jesus looked at Peter, he doesn’t specify how he looked at him.  But from what has been revealed to us about Jesus, we can know something about that look.

It could not have been a look of shock or outrage.  Jesus had known exactly what Peter was going to do that night.  He had told Peter in advance about how he would deny his Lord three times.  Everything was playing out just as Jesus had said it would go.  So Jesus was not taken aback by what Peter was doing.  His look at Peter was a reminder.  His eyes said what he had already told Peter in words earlier that night:  “You will deny me three times.”  Jesus didn’t have to say anything further.  Peter knew Jesus had spoken the truth.  Peter was reminded that Jesus is the Truth.

It could not have been a look of spite or hatred.  Jesus was not doing what he was doing because he hated Peter or anyone involved in what was happening.  Jesus came into this world because God so loved the world.  Jesus “loved his own who were in the world; he loved them to the end” (John 13:1). And he demonstrated his love for us in that “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). While Peter was sinning against him, denying him with curses, Jesus still loved Peter and was reaching out to him.  When Jesus looked at Peter, it could not have been a look of indignation.

It could not have been a look of rejection or condemnation.  “For God didn't send his Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through him” (John 3:17).  And specifically toward Peter, Jesus had shown his constant love and care.  Earlier that night, before telling Peter the prophecy about how he would fall into denial, Jesus had said to him:  “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has asked to have all of you, that he might sift you as wheat, but I have prayed for you, that your faith wouldn't fail. You, when you have turned again, establish your brothers” (Luke 22:31-32).  Jesus did not desire to condemn Peter. His overriding concern was to preserve Peter, to save him.  Even if we are faithless in our actions, Jesus “remains faithful; for he cannot deny himself” (2 Timothy 2:13).   So says the promise of Scripture.  And Jesus made good on that promise to Peter.  Satan sifted him like wheat, that’s for sure.  But Jesus held on to Peter.  With just one look, through the doorway, out into the dim light of the outer court, Jesus grabbed hold of Peter’s eyes and his heart.  And Peter ran out and wept bitterly.  He was ashamed.  He was acutely aware of his failure of faith.  But he had hope.  He had a Savior who had told him he was going to fail but that he would be brought back.  He had a Savior who led him to hear the rooster’s crow as a warning.  He had a Savior who in the darkest moment looked at his friend with a look that showed that he knew Peter, that he loved Peter, that he was seeking Peter’s soul.

Like Peter, we also have our failures, our cowardice, our weakness of faith.  But as with Peter, our Lord does not look at us with outrage or hatred or condemnation.  The look in Jesus’ eyes is the look of the eternal God who stooped down from heaven to stand trial in our place, the look of someone who was willing to suffer unimaginable pain and horror for our sake, the look of a Savior who was willing to give himself up completely in order to win us back to our Father in heaven.  We have been turned back to Jesus by his redeeming look at us, again and again.  So with renewed strength, we can strengthen our brothers and sisters.  

All Bible quotations from the World English Bible (WEB).

Still standing

Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
… I'm still standing - yeah yeah yeah

“I’m Still Standing” – Elton John / Bernie Taupin

Too Low for Zero (1983) – Rocket Record Company (UK) / Geffen Records (USA)

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Photo credit: Thomas Hawk, on Flickr, Creative Commons license

It’s customary to begin a devotional thought with verses from the Bible.  So I suppose starting with a Bernie Taupin lyric from an Elton John song is rather unconventional.  But the chorus of that song has been running through my head a lot lately.  The theme started a couple weeks ago.  As I was exiting the post office, I held the door for an older gentleman, somewhat hobbled, who was on his way in.  

“Have a good day,” I said to him. 

“I always have a good day – I’m still standing up!” he replied, with a big, broad smile.

Not many days later, a sermon I heard mentioned the same sentiment.  “I’m up and I’m moving – I’m okay!”  The pastor had heard that thought expressed by a person of faith during life’s hard times.  It is the way that faith looks at life, constantly trusting a God whose everlasting arms are underneath us, holding us up (cf. Deuteronomy 33:27).

To be honest, though, thoughts of faith like that are unnatural for us.  We tend to have in mind an ideal image of life, of what we want life to be.  More accurately, we concoct an idol of how we expect life should be.  We worship that idol; we yearn for that ideal.  But even a non-biblical thinker such as Plato, the Greek philosopher, recognized the flaw in such thinking.  There is no “ideal” in the earthly realm.  Life in this world is imperfect, mortal, characterized by struggle.  Plato envisioned that perfect things could exist only in a higher realm.  He wasn’t wrong.  Through the testimony of Scripture, we know that “the whole world lies in the power of the evil one” (1 John 5:19).  But we also know “that the Son of God has come, and has given us an understanding, that we know him who is true, and we are in him who is true, in his Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and eternal life” (1 John 5:20).  And the true God calls upon us to keep ourselves from idols (1 John 5:21) – idols such as imagining that life on this earth should always be full of easiness for us. 

The truth is that “through many afflictions we must enter into God’s Kingdom” (Acts 14:22).

The truth is that if we’re so much as standing up, it is because the Lord has given us the strength to be on our feet.  It is he who brings us up out of the pit, out of the miry clay.  He sets our feet on a rock and gives us a firm place to stand (cf. Psalm 40:2).

So our confession of faith will always be this:  “Some trust in chariots, and some in horses, but we trust the name of Yahweh our God.  They are bowed down and fallen, but we rise up, and stand upright” (Psalm 20:7-8).

If you’re still standing—or even if you’re flat on your back, but still partaking in life—rejoice and be glad in that day.  As Eugene Peterson’s paraphrase of Ecclesiastes reminds us:  “Relish life … each and every day of your precarious life. Each day is God’s gift. It’s all you get in exchange for the hard work of staying alive” (Ecclesiastes 9:7-9, The Message).  Our God took away the sin of the world in a single day by giving his One and Only, Jesus Christ, into death for us. And then Christ stood up again after giving himself over to death.  Christ's victorious standing up again (resurrection) gives us reason to stay standing even in life’s darkest days …  and gives us promise that even after we have been laid low, we will stand with our Lord again in eternity.

I’m still standing.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bible quotations from World English Bible (WEB) except where indicated.