Out of the Pit
by Naomi Unnasch
Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being praise his holy name. Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s (Psalm 103:1-5).
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A year ago, the life of someone I loved was hanging in the
balance. A deadly cycle of untreated depression, addiction, and self-injury was
drowning him in the bottomless loneliness of self. After having unexpectedly
discovered his cutting habit, I spent night after night tossing and turning,
barely sleeping through harrowing nightmares. I awoke every morning wondering
if I’d get a phone call that day telling me he was gone.
I happened across Psalm 103 one of those days. I’d read it
before, of course. Praise the LORD, O my
soul, praise the Lord, praise, praise... how often had I sung those words
or mindlessly recited them? How mundane they’d seemed.
Now those words came to life, juxtaposed absurdly against the
ugly picture of a rotting disease and a black, miry pit. Praise the LORD... but how could I, drowning as I was in fear and
doubt? Praise the LORD... but how
could my friend do that from the darkness of his depression?
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We don’t know exactly when David was moved to write this psalm,
but we do know this: David understood what it was to inhabit the bottom of a
pit. His life was riddled with troubles--troubles even of his own making. If
anyone was qualified to write about sin, suffering, and regret, it was David.
What’s at the bottom of your pit? Empty bottles? A failed marriage?
Crippling loneliness? Shame over a past sin? Forget about it. Leave it at the
bottom. Your Father is calling, and he’s not leaving.
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A year ago, my days and nights were endless variations on the
same prayer. Gone were the wordsmithing and formality I’d foolishly felt a
prayer required. Instead, my relationship with God had become a wrestling
match. I poured myself into his promises, and I thrust those promises into the
very face of God, reminding him to be faithful.
As if he needed reminding.
God heard and delivered. Though it was by no means an easy
recovery nor a short one, my friend now thrives in joy and vitality. He’s
committed himself to hard work and a healthy lifestyle, and he praises his
deliverer by reaching out to individuals from all walks of life. While he bears
scars--both physical and emotional--he understands grace better than most. His
Savior pulled him from the pit.
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No matter the depth of your pit or the ugliness of your disease,
your Father calls. Despite the length of the list of your sins, he calls. And
even if you close your ears to him, he will still be calling, relentlessly,
lovingly pursuing you.
Your Father is a God of grace--of lavish, undeserved, faithful
love. He will deliver you. Count on it and praise him.
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Naomi’s friend also offered her this note when giving approval
to publishing this message on The Electric Gospel. He offers these
thoughts to us:
“God is not only calling us, but is
reaching out for us, and never gives up on us. For people such as this, I think
that it’s extremely important to know that there is still someone who hasn’t
given up on them.
“There is a common myth that cutting is
a strong sign of suicide or attempting suicide. This is not (usually) the case.
Cutting is an addiction, much like alcohol, to endorphins in your body. When
someone cuts, and cuts a lot, it releases a lot of endorphins and gives a sense
of relief. It is similar to alcohol because it is not something you can be
completely cured from. It is always an option and an easy route.
“If you ever come across something like
this (and I pray you don’t), the last thing to do is to take it to someone
else. Cutters do not [cut] for attention, and that attention puts more pressure
on them and can overall make things worse. I would advise [you] to talk to that
person first in order to understand better why [they are cutting]....
“This is an important thing to me that
I want other people to know about, so I have no problems answering questions or
sharing my story with others. If it will benefit someone else, I’m all for it.”
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