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The Powerful Prison of Penance
by Grace Williams
“I
do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through
the law, Christ died for nothing!” ~ Galatians 2:21
Could
you imagine living in a world where everything was up to you? As Christians, we know full well that God has
already done everything for us to secure our salvation. But what if this truth
was not set in stone? If achieving
eternal life was based even in the slightest on our adherence to the law, the
Bible spells out a very terrifying message: All persons have sinned and fall short
of the glory of God. If this is true, how
then could we possibly do anything to make ourselves pure in God’s eyes?
This is the
question that tormented Martin Luther’s each and every waking moment during the
years before he nailed up his famous 95 Theses.
Luther had been raised under the law-driven doctrine of the medieval Roman Church, and his spiritual state fully exemplified the dangers of excluding the
gospel in one’s worship life. He was
constantly surrounded by church officials ordering him to repent of his sins,
and tearful confessions were a daily ordeal.
Every time Luther committed even the “smallest” of sins, he would be
overcome with grief and shame and go running to a priest to beg for assurance
of forgiveness. Often, he would even
physically punish himself or go days without eating, in order to show
penance for what he had done, in hopes that God would have mercy on his soul. The worst part of it all--the pain, the
torment, and the utter humiliation--was that he never knew if the measures he
was taking were enough.
Most of us can’t
even imagine living in a state of constant fear that our repentance isn’t enough. While many may find it next to impossible to
relate to Martin Luther, I have witnessed firsthand how powerful of a prison
penance can be--and how the gospel changes everything!
When I was very
little, I had severe Tourettes and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Today it has toned down quite a bit, and I
have learned to cope with it and accept it as part of who I am. It is just one of the many blessings God has
given me to make me unique. But I did not
always see it this way. In fact, it used to make my life a bit miserable. Part of having OCD and Tourettes is that your
mind is miswired to fixate itself on things that bother your conscience. For instance, if you are brought up taught
that “stupid” (for a mild example) is a bad word, you will be more inclined to
have that word inadvertently cross your mind.
You can imagine as a Christian how fixated you could become on the
bad sins you had committed! I used to
go through periods of time where I was so overcome by sins that I could not get
out of my head that I was literally praying nonstop throughout the entire
day. (And I assure you, this is, sadly,
no exaggeration!) Some nights I would
stay up hours on end, asking God why I was so sinful and begging that he would
forgive me for all the terrible things I had committed that day. I knew that Jesus had
saved me ... but I had also been taught that we should repent of all of our sins, and I was completely overwhelmed!
Finally, one night, I broke down in front of my parents. That is when
God swooped in with his life-saving gospel!
Looking back on
it, I realize now how foolish it was for me to doubt God’s forgiveness and
mercy. For a long time I wondered how
God could possibly use that chapter of my life for my good--aside from me having A LOT of one-on-one time with him in the early hours of the morning. It wasn’t until recently that I realized why
he allowed me to carry that cross for so long.
Thanks to my experiences, I can relate to those who are burdened
down by sin, and I can offer them the reassurance that God’s love covers over
even a multitude of sins. I understand
better than ever how the law, without gospel, is meaningless! Without gospel, we are slaves to sin and
penance. We cannot earn our way into
Gods arms, nor can we atone for the good we have failed to do. The gospel is truly the life-giving message
that people so desperately need to hear! That is why Luther’s work and the Reformation
are so vital to Lutherans today. God help us never to lose sight of the gospel, so that in confident
faith we may proudly proclaim, “That no one is
justified by the law before God is evident; for, the righteous person shall live
by faith” (Galatians 3:11).
The law is a prison … but the gospel is the power
of God for salvation, to everyone who
believes!
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