One of the readers of this blog sent me something that ties in well with the book excerpt that I posted a couple weeks ago. This moving account relates what it's like for a person when his view of God is misshapen by persons who fail to focus on God's great love for us in Christ. Author’s name is withheld because of the deeply personal nature of the account.
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To live without forgiveness is to live without peace. It is going through every day wondering if you have been good enough. Day after day, you constantly have to make sure you did everything you were supposed to do. When you go to bed at night, things that may have been left undone may creep into your head as you drift asleep. You must make sure you have done every little thing that you may have not done right. If you do not, says your conscience, you might go to hell if you die.
Someone in your life holds grudges against you. You never can seem to get this person to forgive you no matter what you do to make up for what angered him or her. The silent anger of this person burns against you even though you beat yourself up as a terrible human being. You are told that you should feel terrible. You are told that it is good to feel that way. You are never told you are forgiven. You “know” that you are hopelessly wicked. You get upset with yourself, believing you are a very bad person. How can you ever be good enough? Your soul is tormented by the thoughts that maybe you are not sorry enough for your sins, or maybe you really don’t have faith. You don’t know where you will end up if you die. The thought of death can bring terror that will rob you of sleep.
The fears of what God may do to you rob you of so much peace and scare you so much, you push them out of your mind. You try to stay busy with things so you don’t have to think about your terrible situation. You try to push your fears out of your mind--but they won't leave. There is no peace, at least it has not become a reality to you.
You imagine God like the person in your life who held grudges against you, whose silent anger burned against you and turned a deaf ear to your cries for forgiveness. You fall into sin and feel that God has turned his back on you. He is not there to help you because he wants nothing to do with you--at least that is what you feel. You feel God’s anger burning against you as you beg for forgiveness. You feel that God will not listen to your prayers because you have been too bad. Life in this sinful world as a sinner is torture. Your conscience screams in pain.
Then something happens. Someone helps you learn about forgiveness and even says, “I forgive you.” You are shocked in a good way. You see that there are no strings attached and you don’t have to earn this forgiveness. You learn that is the way God forgives. Jesus came to die for you, before you ever were sorry for even one sin. He wants you to be his precious child. You learn that you do not need to try to pay for your forgiveness by beating yourself up. In fact, you can’t pay for your forgiveness. It is impossible. That is why Jesus came and paid for all of your sins. He took them all on himself and died so you would be forgiven. You are completely washed by Jesus’ blood. When God looks at you he no longer sees your sin, he sees Jesus’ perfect righteousness. Your forgiveness is not dependent on how sorry you are. It is not dependent on your faith's strength. It is a fact that was completed a long time ago when Jesus said, “It is finished.” His resurrection is proof that you are forgiven.
Forgiveness is so wonderful for you. You like to just think about the wonderful things God has done for you! You think about Jesus and how he died for you and how amazing that is. Because of your past when you lived in the law, without forgiveness, you see forgiveness as something completely amazing.
Forgiveness brings peace.
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