Life is worth living in Jesus

A friend shared with me her personal story of anguish ... and of hope.  For the benefit of others who may struggle in depression, she graciously has permitted the posting of her story here.
The Electric Gospel

From Darkness to Light

Author’s name withheld by request

It started like every other morning.  The alarm went off earlier than I really wanted, but I pulled myself out of my bed anyway.  I went to the bathroom and started getting ready, the whole time waiting for my phone to buzz to let me know that he was thinking about me; but it never came.  I left the house just after 9:00 to make the commute to a school 45 minutes away.  Sitting through class, I never stopped thinking about the text that never came.  “Why do I still get so surprised when he does this?” I remembered thinking to myself.  The reality was that this was becoming normal, going days without speaking.  And still, sadness overwhelmed me.  When class finally finished, I decided I wouldn’t go to my other classes.  After all, what was the point?  I got back in my car and drove home, allowing that deep depression to overwhelm again.

By the time I got back home, I could barely hold myself together.  Collapsing on my bed, I wept for too long.  Looking back, I know that something so trivial shouldn’t have gotten to me, but after months of the same ritual the pain never really went away.  I started to think, again, about all the bottles stored in the medicine cabinet.  I remember thinking, “If you’re going to do it, stop thinking about it and just do it!”  Gripped with sadness, I went and got a bottle of pain killers (to stop the ‘pain’) and a bottle of sleeping pills (to put me to ‘sleep’). I took every last pill in those almost brand new bottles.  I sent a text to my mother, who was at work, telling her I was sorry, but that I just couldn’t stand the pain anymore.  Then, I curled up in bed to let myself die.

            I know you’re probably thinking: Isn’t that a little dramatic when she was only being ignored by some guy? And yes, I would agree with you.  The problem is, though, that these thoughts had been racing through my mind for about 7 years.  I had been able to ignore them, but the six months before this had been an especially trying time.  It may have not gotten so bad if I had just talked to someone about it, but I was trying so hard to be the perfect child and I didn’t want anyone to know my dark thoughts.  What’s funny, though, is my parents never put any pressure on me to be ‘perfect.’  They have always been very clear that as long as I try my best, they will be proud of me.  I was the one putting the pressure on myself.

Until now, I haven’t mentioned prayer, or church, or anything about God or my faith.  And no, this isn’t the story of my coming to faith after sinking to such a low place.  You see, I was raised in a Christian family.  I went to church my whole life, and am still a member of the church today.  I went to a Christian elementary school and high school.  I even enrolled at a Christian college upon my high school graduation.  God was not foreign to me, but unfortunately he was not as important to me as he should have been.  I was allowing my depression to lead me through life, rather than praying for strength and guidance.

            Thankfully, after lying in my bed for only 10 minutes, I realized the foolishness of what I had done and got help.  The embarrassment of having so many people know those dark thoughts combined with seeing my mom cry for only the second time in my life kept me from trying anything again, even though the sadness continued.  I realized that doing nothing and hoping it would get better (my previous way of thinking) was not going to work.  I started making a few simple changes saw tremendous results.  I accepted that I had a problem and stopped trying to hide it from everyone; I sought counseling and was prescribed anti-depressants; I cut negative people out of my life; and I finally started going to God for help.  I went to church and actually paid attention to what was being said.  I prayed that he would take the deep sorrow away and help me to rely more on him.  And you know what?  He did.  He reminded me that he gave his own Son, Jesus, to die for me, to make my life worth living, to give me life with him that will never end.   Imagine that; my loving Father answering my prayers like he promised so many times in his Word.  Crazy concept, I know.          So next time you have a problem, no matter how big or small, try talking to God about it.  He has told us to come to him with everything (Philippians 4:6).  And he gives us life in Jesus as the answer to our anxieties.

Mission to the Children

A friend and reader of this blog, John Kramer, works in a ministry called Mission to the Children.  John recently posted a new video about the work they're doing, and I promised him I'd share the link here via the blog.   Think of it as a sort of "Christmas in the Springtime" episode.  

"I am the resurrection and the life."

As today is the festival of the resurrection of our Lord, I thought I might add something resurrection-themed to the blog today.  I dug back in my files for a short sermon preached during my parish ministry years.  Blessings on your holiday.   - David Sellnow

The Electric Gospel

Jesus is Resurrection: Jesus is Life

There was a time when people laughed at Jesus. In fact, they were crying and screaming in sadness, but what Jesus said sounded so strange that they burst out laughing in the middle of a funeral.  A young person had just died. A young girl, twelve years old, had been deathly ill, and death had followed.  While she was dying, the girl's father, a man named Jairus, had come to Jesus asking for help ...but even before Jesus could come to Jairus' house, someone was sent from there to bring the sad news. "Your daughter is dead," he said. "Don't bother the teacher any more."

But upon hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, "Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed" (Luke 8:49-50).  Healed from death? Who ever heard of such a thing?

When Jesus arrived at the house, it was full of people wailing and moaning and mourning. In true Jewish custom, they made quite a scene: tears streaming down their cheeks, hair disheveled, falling on the floor, groaning and bellowing, not a dry eye in the house. It was then--when Jesus entered that house--that the mourners went from hysterical crying to uproarious laughter in an instant. What the great and wise rabbi Jesus said struck them as hilarious. Jesus said to them, "Stop your wailing. She is not dead but asleep."  They laughed at him, knowing that she was, in fact, dead (Luke 8:52,53).

But within moments, Jesus proved that they were dead wrong. He took the girl's hand, said to her, "Get up" ...and she did!  "Her spirit returned, and at once she stood up" (Luke 8:55). Her parents were astonished. Everyone was amazed. For Jesus, bringing to life a dead person was no more difficult than waking someone up from sleep.

Jesus has an entirely different perspective on death than we normally do. Jesus' whole definition of life and death differs from what we normally think. The words on which I'd like you to focus especially today come from the story of another resurrection miracle that Jesus performed.  In talking to his dear friend Martha, just after her beloved brother Lazarus had died, Jesus spoke these powerful words: "I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die" (John 11:25,26).

You see, according to Jesus, Lazarus had died but he had not died. Lazarus had died but he also would live again. Let me explain how Jesus explains life and death.

Life, according to Jesus, is when we are enjoying the blessings of God. When we enjoy the blessings of God in our bodies, we are physically alive. Our lungs breathe, our hearts beat, our hands and feet move.  Only by God's blessing and his sustaining do we have physical life. When God decides it is time for us to pass from this life, those blessings are suspended, and physically we die.

But there is more to life than the body. God also created each of us with a soul. When we enjoy the blessings of God in our souls, we have faith in him, we have a relationship with him, we have life through him. Our spirits never die. The blessings of God upon our spirits began the day we were baptized and haven’t ceased since. We are blessed in faith throughout life and blessing awaits us beyond this present life.  We will live on with the Lord.  That is why Jesus could say, "Whoever lives and believes in me will never die."  Our loved ones who have died have not really died--not their spirits.  They are alive still, living with the Lord, standing side by side with Jesus right now. We see only the physical aspect of life and death, but there is a spiritual and eternal reality that we don't yet see, which nevertheless is absolutely true.  Those who have died in faith are yet alive, living and reigning with Jesus (cf. Revelation 20:4), who lives and reigns with the Father and with the Spirit, the one true and loving God, forever and ever.

But that's not all. Jesus also said, "Whoever believes in me will live, even though he dies." The physical body dies, but Jesus pledges, with his word of power, that he will bring the body back to life. The daughter of Jairus and the man named Lazarus were two examples, demonstrations Jesus gave of just what he can do. By his miracles of resurrection, he was promising that he will do the same in the end for all of his people.

By his own resurrection, after he was crucified, Jesus proved that he has absolute power over death and the grave. A giant stone and armed guards of soldiers could not keep Jesus' resurrection from happening. Likewise, there is nothing that can keep Jesus from providing the same resurrection for us, his people, when his final time arrives. On that day, "we will all be changed--in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed" (1 Corinthians 15:52). We will be changed from dead to alive, from being troubled by all the ailments of our frail bodies to being freed from all ills in eternally glorified bodies.

"I am the resurrection and the life," Jesus said. That's exactly who he is. In him and because of him, we have life now and will have it always.  In him and because of him, we will experience one day the resurrection of our bodies into life and joy unending, that now we can barely even imagine.  In that day of resurrection, we won't have any back pains or body aches or cysts or cancers or any other disease or pains or wounds.  All will be healed completely by the Lord and made perfect in every way.

Jesus, keep our hearts strong as we wait for that day!

In the Hour of Denial

For this week's blog post, I'll use a piece of my own writing.  The following message was written as one part of a seven-part series of messages delivered by various clergy members at St. Paul's Lutheran Church, New Ulm MN on Good Friday 2014. The traditional Three Hour Service followed "The Hours of Jesus' Passion."   My section looked at "The Hour of Denial" -- when Peter repeatedly insisted he did not know Jesus.

- David Sellnow

About The Electric Gospel

 

"Jesus Turns and Looks at Us"

Disciples of Jesus, who live in the courtyard of this world:

Joe worked on a road construction crew with a pretty rough group of guys.  Joe was a religious man, but didn’t want to be hassled for his faith.  So he just did his job, earned his pay, kept to himself, didn’t talk much.

Gina went to college at a major university.  There wasn’t much evidence of faith in the people living up and down the hall in Gina’s dorm.  Gina was a Christian, but didn’t really advertise that.  She wanted to fit in and didn’t want to be criticized or challenged.

Sam was single and looking.  He went to a speed dating event, hoping to meet interesting women.  He decided in advance he wasn’t going to say anything about his religion.  He only had five minutes to meet each person.  He didn’t want to put up any obstacles that might keep someone from wanting to get to know him.  And he didn’t want anyone to think his faith was the main thing that defined him.

As Christ’s followers, we act like that sometimes.  We want a connection to Christ, but we don’t want to be hassled about it.  We want Christ to be with us, but we’re not always eager to let others know we’re with him.  We may be bold and loud when we’re in here (in church), among ourselves, where we can sing our hymns and say our prayers without hesitation.  But when we’re out there, rubbing shoulders with persons who’ve given a cold shoulder to Jesus, we grow timid.  We get quiet.    We claim—like Simon Peter claimed—to be ardent followers of Jesus, but when the pressure is on we are more prone to deny him than to identify ourselves with him.

Let’s look at Peter’s denial—and in it see our own failure to stand strong in faith, but also see our Savior loving us and calling us back to him.   Let's look at Luke’s account of the events, since Luke notes an important detail about what happened just as Peter’s denial reached its loudest point. 

Seizing Jesus, they led him away and took him into the house of the high priest. Peter followed at a distance.  And when some there had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them.  A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, “This man was with him.”

But he denied it. “Woman, I don’t know him,” he said.

A little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.”

“Man, I am not!” Peter replied.

About an hour later another asserted, “Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean.”

Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed.  The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.”   And he went outside and wept bitterly.

(Luke 22:54-62)

We can understand Peter’s fear, why denial spilled from his lips instead of confession – because we get scared like that.  But did he need to be afraid?  What would they have done with him if he’d said, “Yes, I was with him; yes, I know him; yes, I am one of his disciples”?  Probably they’d just have ridiculed him and mocked Jesus.  If they were going to arrest Peter and do him bodily harm, they’d have grabbed him in Gethsemane.  There he was full of bravado and slashed an ear off one of the high priest’s men.  But Jesus had put an end to the swordplay.  And the authorities weren’t interested in Peter.  They were after Jesus.  Peter’s safety wasn’t really in jeopardy as he stood in the priest’s courtyard.

But Peter was afraid the way we get afraid, even when our personal safety isn’t at risk.  If we are open and transparent about our relationship with Jesus in the midst of people who are not Jesus’ disciples, what’s the worst we usually have to fear?  Ridicule.  Scoffing.  Verbal abuse.   And yet, like Peter, we become weak.   We are cowardly instead of confident.   While we may make brave proclamations about Jesus in the safety of our own gatherings, when we’re face to face with Jesus’ enemies in the world we are likely to hide our relationship with him.

Peter's Denial by Carl Heinrich Bloch (1834-1890)

But then comes that look.   Luke tells us that just as Peter was denying Jesus for the third time, just when a rooster crowed (just as Jesus had predicted), Jesus turned and looked straight at Peter.  I suppose you might have difficulty imagining how that could happen.  Wasn’t Jesus inside the high priest’s residence and Peter was standing out in the courtyard, by the fire?   I don’t want to spend too much time here on details, but renowned archaeological architect Leen Ritmeyer’s reconstruction of the Palatial Mansion of the high priest in Jerusalem shows how the layout of the building and the courtyard was such that there was a clear line of sight from the edge of the courtyard through a doorway into the main reception room where Jesus stood before the high priest.  We were told (by Matthew) that after a servant girl had pegged Peter as a follower of Jesus, Peter had moved over toward the gateway (Matthew 26:71).  It seems that with each confrontation Peter edged further toward the edge of the courtyard, closer to the exit.  And from that spot there was a view through another archway right into the center of the reception room.  And so as Peter was confronted a third time … and with even more forceful words than before he swore he did not know Jesus … and the rooster crowed … Jesus was able to look out, through the doorway, and look directly at Peter.  “Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: ‘Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times’” (Luke 22:61).

That look of Jesus – what did that look look like?   Luke only tells us that Jesus looked at Peter, he doesn’t specify how he looked at him.  But from what has been revealed to us about Jesus, we can know something about that look.

It could not have been a look of shock or outrage.  Jesus knew exactly what Peter was going to do that night.  He had told Peter in advance about how he would deny his Lord three times.  Everything was playing out just as Jesus had said it would go.  So Jesus was not taken aback by what Peter was doing.  His look at Peter was a reminder.  His eyes said what he had already told Peter in words earlier that night:  “You will deny me.”  Jesus didn’t have to say anything further.  Peter knew Jesus had spoken the truth.  Peter was reminded that Jesus is the Truth.

It could not have been a look of spite or hatred.  Jesus was not doing what he was doing because he hated Peter or anyone involved in what was happening.  Jesus came into this world because God so loved the world.  Jesus “loved his own who were in the world; he loved them to the end” (John 13:1). And he demonstrated his love for us in that “while we were sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). While Peter was sinning against him, denying him with curses, Jesus still loved Peter and was reaching out to him.  When Jesus looked at Peter, it could not have been a look of indignation.

It could not have been a look of rejection or condemnation.  “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:17).  And specifically toward Peter, Jesus had shown his constant love and care.  Earlier that night, before telling Peter the prophecy about how he would fall into denial, Jesus had said to him:  “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat.   But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers” (Luke 22:31-32).  Jesus was not intent on condemning Peter; his overriding concern was to preserve Peter, to save him.  Even if we are faithless in our actions, Jesus “remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself” (2 Timothy 2:13).   So says the promise of Scripture.  And Jesus made good on that promise to Peter.  Satan sifted him like wheat, that’s for sure.  But Jesus held on to Peter.  With just one look, through the doorway, out into the dim light of the outer court, Jesus grabbed hold of Peter’s eyes and his heart.  And Peter ran out and wept bitterly.  He was ashamed.  He was acutely aware of his failure.  But he had hope.  He had a Savior who had told him he was going to fail but that he would be brought back.  He had a Savior who led him to hear the rooster’s crow as a warning.  He had a Savior who in the darkest moment looked at his friend with a look that showed that he knew Peter, that he loved Peter, that he was seeking Peter’s soul.

We also have our failures, our cowardice, our weakness of faith.  But as with Peter, our Lord does not look at us with outrage or hatred or condemnation.  The look in Jesus’ eyes is the look of the eternal God who stooped down from heaven to stand trial in our place, the look of someone who was willing to suffer unimaginable pain and horror for our sake, the look of a Savior who was willing to give himself up completely in order to win us back to God.  And we have been turned back to Jesus, again and again.  So with renewed strength, forgiven of our denials—like Peter—we can strengthen one another, strengthen our brothers and sisters. 

Devotional thoughts for Holy Week

Jen Bir shares an article pondering the various symbols we see as we go through Holy Week.  Blessings to all of you as you worship in your own settings during these days of remembrance.
The Electric Gospel

The Symbols of Holy Week

by Jennifer Birr

            As I enter church on Palm Sunday, I feel a different atmosphere than the Sundays before. It is the beginning of the end of the Lenten season. The church has now entered Holy Week. The first difference I notice as I walk towards the sanctuary is that palm branches are everywhere. The branches are being handed out at the door, they are spread down the aisle, and they are all around the altar. This reminds me of Jesus triumphant entry into Jerusalem with everyone shouting, “Hosanna!” However, I wonder why the believers of the time used palm branches. Thinking back to Old Testament times, God had commanded his people to celebrate many different festivals to remind them of all God had done and will do for them. The Festival of Tabernacles (sometimes referred to as Festival of Booths) began by using branches from leafy trees, often palm trees.  Old Testament believers would use these branches to “rejoice before the Lord” (Leviticus 23:33-44).  These branches were not only used on Palm Sunday, but they had been used all throughout Old Testament times to praise and thank God.

            As church ends, I head back to my dorm and college life. I check my planner and the list of homework and chores to finish before I get to go home for the long Easter weekend. My mind moves from the triumphant ride into Jerusalem to lesson plans and geography homework. I go throughout my week doing the normal routine of class, chapel, time with friends and the added excitement of seeing my family in a few days. Finally, class is over and I throw my duffel bag into my car and head home to find the hard-boiled eggs waiting to be dyed. Yet another symbol of Easter I have seen every year of my life. The egg represents life coming from something dead. The chick breaks out of the shell just as Jesus broke out of the tomb. The eggs are plastered with bright colors to represent the bright colors of the sunrise on that glorious morning.

            I enjoy my free time at home and then return to my home congregation for Maundy Thursday (“maundy” meaning “commandment” - look at John 13:34). The altar is no longer covered in purple, which represents the royalty of Jesus; it is now covered in white. The color was changed to white to represent the holiness of the Lord’s Supper. As I look around, I also see grapes and wheat on one of the banners and a lamb on the other. These symbols remind me of the Lord’s Supper (which was instituted on Maundy Thursday) and the Passover. Jesus and the disciples were gathered to celebrate the Passover when Jesus instituted the Lord’s Supper. The Lord’s Supper is how Jesus shares his love with us in a physical way. The Passover was also a physical sign for the Old Testament believers to remember how death passed over the houses of the Israelites while in Egypt. Now to New Testament believers, the Lord’s Supper is a celebration of how eternal death passes over us because of what Jesus has done for us. A lamb reminds me of the sacrifice of Jesus and it ties his death to the Passover lamb that was to be sacrificed. Just as the lamb was to be sacrificed for the sins of Old Testament believers, Jesus is being sacrificed as the fulfillment of what that lamb prophesied, as a sacrifice for all people.

            At the very end of the service the altar is stripped by the altar guild. The altar is a representation of Jesus, and it is stripped in remembrance of how Jesus clothes were taken and divided among the soldiers (John 19:17-27). The women carefully remove all of the paraments and after the congregation has some personal reflection time, everyone leaves the sanctuary in silence. I take that time to think about what Jesus did in my place and how because of my sin Jesus was put through such pain, torture, and death.

            Once again, I head home for some more family time. I am a lot more somber after leaving church than I was the last time I left. The next day I find myself coming to church once again. Now it is Good Friday and that somber feeling has not left the church. “Good” always seemed like a weird word to use to describe this day. However, “good” is an old expression for holy. The Holy Friday that Jesus is put to death makes more sense to me. The altar is now covered in black representing the darkness of death and sin in the world. The light of the world is now being put to death.

            There are many symbols throughout my church on Good Friday such as the crown of thorns, cross, nails, I. N. R. I., and a spear. All of these symbols seen throughout the church on Good Friday are right out of the account of Jesus death (John 19). The I. N. R. I. found on many banners during Lent are the letters placed on the board on the top of Jesus’ cross, abbreviating four Latin words, “Iesus Nazarenus Rex Iudaeorum” which means Jesus King of the Jews. The last, most impactful symbol of Good Friday is the loud noise heard at the end of the service. My pastor slams the Bible shut and this noise reminds me of the closing of Jesus’ grave. He is dead. It is finished. I solemnly leave church and head home.

            Saturday is full of preparations for the family meal on Sunday. All the decorations are out and ready. The food is prepped and in the fridge. The candy dishes are full. It is time for me to go to bed in order for me to get up bright and early for sunrise service. Morning comes. My mother, sister and I are in are Easter dresses while my father and brother are in their nice dress shirts. Entering the church is a completely different atmosphere than it was on Friday when I left. The church is full of bright colors and the organ is playing joyous Easter hymns. The altar is full of Easter lilies. The lilies remind be of Jesus resurrection because a beautiful flower blooms from a seemingly dead bulb. Under the Easter lilies are the white garments covering the altar. Jesus is now arisen in his perfect glory and the light is back in the world again. That is why the clean color of perfection is used. The cross is now draped with a white cloth to represent the burial cloth of Jesus. The Paschal Candle is now lit at the front of church, used to show how Christ who is the Light of the world has overcome all darkness. He is risen! He is risen indeed!

            

Struggling to Forgive

We struggle to forgive those who have wronged us.  Our strength and love to be forgiving will flow from the one who continually loves and forgives us--our Lord Jesus Christ.   Brooke King prepared this devotion in the form of a letter to a friend.

Forgiveness

by Brooke King

Dear Jane,

            It’s was so nice to see you last Sunday at church, I know it’s been awhile, especially with everything that has happened these past few weeks. Catching up with you was so nice and I’m glad to see you smiling again. Perhaps we can meet sometime for coffee down at Lola’s; I hear it’s becoming quite popular with the students on campus. I found that meeting and talking with people often seems the best way to lighten the heart and take a few steps forward. You know you can count on me to be walking along your side. Even if you’re busy, remember that Jesus is always walking with you and you can talk to him about anything.

            I know you mentioned you were struggling with forgiveness. Sometimes it seems that it’s more of God’s place to forgive than ours, especially when we’ve really been hurt. God’s love is unconditional after all and we can become so scarred by the sins committed against us that it is hard to show love to others. However, Jesus told his disciples that they have authority to forgive sins too, not just him. For many people this can be comforting to hear. Jesus said, “If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven” (John 20:23).  I know you’ve been hurt Jane, but withholding forgiveness may eventually become more of a burden to you than to your mother. Although her actions were hurtful to you, God desires that you have peace with yourself and with others. The Lord through Paul says “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). Even when sins are committed against us unknowingly, we can seek to forgive those who’ve done wrong.

            Jesus came to this world to live a perfect life for us, to suffer at our hands, and die for our sins. Imagine how big of a grudge he could have held against us! He had every reason in the world not to forgive us for making him suffer. Despite every denial that shattered his trust, he chose to forgive us. Despite every insult that broke his heart, he chose to forgive us. Despite every lash that scarred his skin, he chose to forgive us. Despite every nail that was put in his flesh, he still chose to forgive us. Even as he was hanging on the cross, he looked at us, the unrepentant sinners we were and said, “Father, forgive them” (Luke 23:34). The love that Jesus has for us is boundless. He desires our peace with the Father even before we begin to repent. Be comforted Jane that despite your sins or your unwilling heart to forgive, you have been forgiven and given peace through your Savior.

            Jane, I know your mother has not acknowledged the pain she has caused you. I know how much you love her despite her sins. I pray that you can be at peace with your mother, not because she deserves your forgiveness, but because of the loving forgiveness you have in Christ which moves you to show forgiveness and live at peace with all people. As you seek out Jesus and consider the peace he has given you for your eternal future, may your own willingness to forgive continue to grow. May you share this gift with your mother and all people so that you may live in peace with the love of Christ abundant in your hearts.

With Christ’s love,

Brooke