Women and Men in Relationship under Christ

When I began this blog a couple months ago, it was to give voice to what I considered an important thought from a young woman who struggled through a relationship.  She had dated a man who didn't understand what God wants of men as they relate to women.  This week, we return to that theme, this time with a letter from another young woman, writing to her sister about what to seek in relationships.

The Electric Gospel

A Letter to My Sister

Author’s name withheld by request

I need to tell you that I am sorry. You have endured countless trials over the last few years, and I have seen how hard each one has been for you. But I will be the first to admit that I have not always been there for you during the rough times. Even when I was present, I didn’t provide the support and comfort that you needed at the time. I wasn’t always willing or able to share your burdens, because I didn’t understand how you ended up in many of those situations.  I thought I knew what was best for you. I just couldn’t comprehend why you couldn’t see things the way I did. I wanted you to stop being so depressed. Instead of listening to you, understanding what you felt and discovering your needs, I tried to cheer you up. I tried to distract you and show you where to go next. When it comes down to it, I made it all about me.

            It never should have been that way. I am sorry that I failed to sit with you, let you cry and listen to you. I’m sorry that I tried to fix you instead of help you.

            Lately I have been working very hard to listen to you. I mean really listen to what you say and what you truly mean--rather than what I think you should mean. What I want to tell you now speaks to what is truly on your heart and mind. I am not telling you this because I just want the crying to stop or because I somehow need to say this for myself. I am telling you these things because I truly care about you and your future relationships.

            I know you have trouble believing what the Bible has to say about women submitting to their husbands.  Christ’s apostle said, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18).  You say that it shouldn’t be that way, because women should be equal to men. Women shouldn’t be held back or forced to go down the wrong road because of bum husbands. You think that a woman should be strong and independent.

While I don’t agree with your assertion that the Bible contains an error regarding this issue, I can understand where you are coming from. You have dated men who don’t respect you the way they should, who don’t understand your needs as a woman and who fail to value your unique gifts and perspectives. On top of that, all around us we see men who simply don’t live up to God’s expectations for their lives. In turn, we see women who pay for it.

            I think there is a lot we are forgetting about here. Remember that the Bible has something to say to men, too. Paul also wrote in one of his letters, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

            Just as Christ loved the church.

            Wow. Christ loved the church a LOT. Christ left heaven to live among sinful human beings. He was eventually tortured and killed by the very humans he came to redeem. He suffered hell on the cross when God left him completely alone with the sins of the entire world on his shoulders.

          Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.

When the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to write these words, the intention wasn’t that women would go out and marry men that would control and oppress them. The intention was that God’s children would model their lives, attitudes and relationships around the model of Jesus Christ and his beloved, the church. Christ is the head of the church. He leads his sheep. He listens to them. He does what is best for them. He gave his life for them.

Of course, we don’t find this in our imperfect world. Far too often we encounter men who abuse their wives. We see men who push their wives around and take advantage of them. Many husbands simply fail to provide their wives with the attention, leadership, respect and sensitivity that they should.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. I want you to look for a man who models his life after Christ. This man will lead you in the way that is best for you. He will respect you and listen to you. He will strive to understand you and your needs. In turn, you will respect him and support him. You will encourage him and help him be the leader God has designed him to be. You will submit to him as we submit to Christ.

He still won’t be perfect. You still won’t be perfect. But I urge you to look to Christ. Ask the Spirit for strength during the good times and the bad. Use God’s Word as a model for your lives together. God will be with you as you live together the way he intended, and you will be greatly blessed!

I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. I promise to listen to you. I promise to help when you want it, not when I think you need it. I promise to do what I can to be a better sister and a better friend. 

Devotional Writing - Online Workshop

This blog aims to provide spiritual writings of a devotional nature that will benefit people's faith lives.  Perhaps you are a writer or aspiring writer who would like to work on devotions of your own.  If so, consider taking part in an online course on Devotional Writing which takes place next month (starting June 9).  One of the aims of the course will be to publish writings of participants here at The Electric Gospel.


The course offers 1-credit and 2-credit options (depending how much writing you wish to do) -- as an accredited college course through the Continuing Education program of Martin Luther College.


Information and registration can be accessed via this link.

God puts an end to our pride

Deyi Shi is a young friend of mine from China, who now resides in Madison WI.  God brought him from atheism to Christian faith, and he continues to grow in spiritual vibrancy and wisdom.  Recently it was Deyi's turn to deliver a chapel devotion on our campus, and he asked me for some input while he was working on his message.  He graciously has given his permission to share his chapel talk here with you on The Electric Gospel blog.

Served by Jesus, we are servants

by Deyi Shi

Five years ago, I was baptized. I never thought myself to be the religious kind until God reached out to me. Prior to my rebirth, my whole life revolved around myself. The sole motivation of my life was my pride and the desire to be better than everyone else. It was a miracle that God grabbed me with his hands and plucked me away from the devil I had inside. When I was lost, hopeless and afflicted by the spiritual emptiness, God showed me the way through his word. He chose me, a guy who once thought he was his own god, to be his servant.

To this day, pride is still a big problem for me. Just a few weeks ago, when studying the 1^st Commandment in a Bible class, I was asked, “What are some things that you worship other than God?” My immediately thought was myself. When I look into a mirror, I see myself as the center of the world. Although I am no longer the completely godless person I once was, I am still a sinner. I still put myself before others and even before God. I still often forget what the word “humble” means when I say and do things. I still think my way is better than other people’s ways.

How many times have you thought to yourself that you are way better than that guy? It is a great temptation for us, Christians, to feel superior to those who don’t believe what we believe. We are proud of ourselves because God has declared us his saints. We pat ourselves on our back for going to church and doing such and such in God’s name. We treat God’s gift to us as our trophy, as something that makes us better than others.

However, as we immerse ourselves in our pride, we overlook what Jesus’ taught us. We read (John 13:1-17) that Jesus, as the almighty Son of God, washed the feet of his servants. At the time, people wore sandals without socks. The road was dirty and rough, and probably with animal feces lying around. The job of washing others’ feet was done by the servant of the lowest level. Yet, Jesus, the King of kings, humbled himself and became a lowly servant of all. If there is anyone who can be boastful and full of pride, it is Jesus. As the Son of God, he deserves all the glory in this universe. Yet, he chose to serve not to be served. His servitude reflects his infinite love for all – his love for Judas who betrayed him, for the disciples who abandoned him, and for Peter who denied him.  Peter did not understand why Jesus, the Son of God, had to do something this lowly. He tried to refuse Jesus’ offer. But he did not know that Jesus would do something a hundred times more humiliating the next day, to die on the cross as a criminal. Peter wanted Jesus to be glorious and majestic. He thought he knew better than Jesus. Jesus replied to him, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” Instead of condemning Peter, Jesus invited him to be part of him. He showed him his great love for all not only by words but deeds. He loved all and was willing to be the servant of all and to die in their place on the cross.

Jesus’ life, death and resurrection supplied us the righteousness we lack. He answers our pride with his humility and love. And we, in faith, respond in love and humility. When we boast and take pride in ourselves, we think about Jesus taking off his garment, humbling himself, and washing his disciples’ feet with gentleness and respect. Now I’m not telling you to go wash other people’s feet like Jesus did, but have the servant attitude of Jesus. Next time when you think that you are better than that guy, you remember that Jesus loves him as much as he loves you. Do not despise others for who they are, but show them that Jesus’ love is in you, so that they may know how much Jesus loves them. This is what it means to be part of God’s great love. It is his love that motivates us. It is his love that he covers our sin with his own blood.

Want a perfect life? Trust Jesus.

Thanks to Kathy Kolell, a friend from online learning ventures together, for sharing this devotional message.  Many of us need the reminder to stop stressing over how perfectly we can plan and carry out our lives, when we have a gracious God who has given us so many promises.

The Electric Gospel

Are You a Perfectionist?

by Kathy Kolell

Are you a perfectionist like I am?  I like to set the bar high and either move it higher or refuse to jump over it.  I’m usually sure that I can’t do it…whatever “it” is.  How does this happen to a Christian and how does a Christian respond?

Perfectionism presents itself in many different ways.   Often, you’d never know such thoughts are lurking in a person because we are classic overachievers who study hard until every “i” is dotted and every “t” crossed.  We are people who read the fine printed on the accept/decline notices on computer updates.  However, other times we procrastinate.  If we do manage to start a project, we have a hard time finishing it.

The fear of failing is the like a bogeyman that haunts everything.  One person might say, “Oh well, I’ll try something else.”  But we perfectionists are sure our lives are over if we fail.  If we succeed, however, then we will be responsible to keep up the success and build on it.

As a Christian I got caught in the trap of thinking about God’s Plan for My Life.   It is capitalized because obviously there is a plan for me and all I have to do is find it and act.  Then the pieces will come together.   But this thinking makes perfectionism worse. How would I know if what I attempted was God-pleasing or plan was the right one?

What does Scripture say?

Ecclesiastes 11:1 - “Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again.”  The note in my Concordia Self-Study Bible (NIV) was captivating.  It reads, “Be adventurous, like those who accept the risks and reap the benefits.  Do not always play it safe.”  There is a verse about risk-taking in the Bible?  That seems to say it’s ok to at least try even if the outcome is unknown.

The second interesting verse was 2 Corinthians 4:7 - “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” The Self-Study Bible note reads that man is absolutely insufficient; God is totally sufficient.  This verse speaks about our salvation in Christ and everything else connected with being human.  Everything in our lives—our salvation, our work, our projects comes from God alone.  We are clay; vessels in God’s hands.  This is interesting.  Is there one, detailed, specific plan or do we do the work for each day and let God work out the rest?

In Matthew it is written, “Do not worry about your life … your heavenly Father knows” … everything (Matthew 6:25,26).  Every hope, dream, fear and concern.  A favorite verse in Romans assures us that God will use the failure and the success of our lives for our good:  “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

The same God that tells us to be adventurous, also tells us that everything…EVERYTHING will be used to bring his children into the likeness of his Son. That includes challenges, fear, failure, success and fickle feelings.

 There are many things about which the Bible is very clear in regard to how we live. We know the Ten Commandments.  We know that we are to “get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” and instead “be kind and compassionate to one another” (Ephesians 4:31,32).  But after that, God doesn’t care what city we live in, if we open a shop, go back to school, or buy a house because “in their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD determines their steps” (Proverbs 16:9).   God promises to use events in our lives to make his children more like Jesus. God will help us through any difficulty because when he looks at us, he sees his Son.  When we belong to Christ, our salvation is finished in him and our sanctification aims at drawing us ever closer to him. Excessive fear and worry is not from God, but God also uses the broken and the weak for his purposes.   We can live with weakness and fear because we say with Saint Paul, “That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10).

Prayer
Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for loving us when we are afraid and fearful.  Thank you for your promises that assure us everything will be made to serve your purpose and make us like your Son.  Thank you for giving us our unique personalities and loving us just as we are.  In your holy name we pray.  Amen.

Sacramental blessing

This week's blog entry, from one of my students in pre-seminary training, looks at the treasure we have in the Lord's Supper.

The Importance of Holy Communion

by Jared Natsis

            “Take, eat. This is the body of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, given into death for you. Take, drink. This is the true blood of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, shed for the remission of all of your sins.”

            Such words are familiar to us. We hear them spoken from the communion railing multiple times as congregants receive bread and wine.  The words are a paraphrase of Jesus’ own words that instituted the sacrament of the Lord’s Supper, and they quite eloquently tell the story. As we eat the bread and drink the wine, we are literally sharing in the body and blood of our Savior—the body and blood that were broken and shed specifically for us. But what implications does that carry? What does it mean to be a participant in this sacrament?

            First of all, it means we recognize our dire need for a Savior.  Christ’s apostle Paul urged us to examine ourselves before participating in this sacrament (1 Corinthians 11:28-29).  If we look inward, we know that on our own we can only produce one product, and that is sin. Given its way, the sinful nature within us would do nothing but damn us to hell, and we are powerless against ourselves. After self-examination, we have no choice but to fall on our knees before the throne of God.

            But thankfully, the Lord’s Supper is a vehicle of God’s free and faithful grace. As we partake of the sacrament, we “proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes” (1 Corinthians 11:26). In communion with Christ, we personally taste and see the sacrifice of Christ, the innocent suffering and death that he underwent on our behalf. Even as we are steeped in sin and deserve nothing but punishment, Jesus loved us so much that he took our sin entirely upon himself and received the judgment that we deserve. By recognizing the true body and blood of Christ in the sacrament, we miraculously receive forgiveness of sins through the promise of Christ. As Christ’s blood was “given and shed for you,” so you will receive the wondrous comfort of his forgiveness!

            As you partake of the sacrament, you are surrounded by a family of believers and fellow participants. By communing together, you are proclaiming that you believe and confess the same faith as your fellow Christian brothers and sisters. Worshiping in this fellowship is one of the greatest blessings we can possibly have as Christians! By eating of one loaf and drinking of one cup, we are brought closer together in God’s family. To be united in the faith and love of Christ is incredibly precious. This great expression of unity is the reason for what is called “close communion” practice--those who’ve drawn close together in fellowship in the same church as the ones communing together.  Such a practice does not intend to judge anyone’s heart or life as a Christian, but to more carefully ensure that those communing together are truly united in heart and mind. As Paul says,“Because there is one loaf, we, who are many, are one body, for we all share the one loaf” (1 Corinthians 10:17).

            Finally, as we eat and drink the body and blood of Christ, our faith is strengthened by the Holy Spirit through the Word made flesh who gives himself to us. And just as the Holy Spirit has given us faith, he sanctifies us to live lives dedicated to God. The fruits of faith come forth out of love and thanks for Jesus’ merciful sacrifice, and we go forth as beacons of that very love. As Christ now lives in us, we strive to live for Christ!

            “May this body and blood of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ strengthen and preserve you in the true faith until the day of life everlasting. Depart in peace—your sins are forgiven!”