Alissa wrote this devotion for use with the high school students she teaches at
Divine Savior Academy.
Whether we want to admit it or not, dating has a major
impact on the high school experience. It’s considered to be embarrassing if you
don’t get asked to prom, it becomes a devastation if you break up with your
beau, and some high schoolers may date multiple people throughout their high
school careers. It becomes essential to have an Instagram relationship, a
publicly intimate profile with intentional, filtered, and perfected photographs
of holding hands and beach kisses. There are so many high schoolers today that
feel they are “in love” with their boyfriend or girlfriend. We need to examine
these relationships because many of you will face the same thing. While facing
enormous pressures in the world of high school dating, I want you to remember
to chase only one thing: Jesus. When you seek God’s approval rather than your
boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s approval, you are trusting God with your heart. You
want to make sure that you do not just fall in love with being in love.
What
does it mean to seek God’s approval rather than a boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s
approval? We look to the Bible for that answer. The Bible describes an
unconditional, unequaled love that no one else can possibly match. If you’ve
ever felt like you cannot possibly go on without your boyfriend or girlfriend,
I am here to tell you that God loves you more than you could possibly imagine.
Because he loves you that much, he wants your whole heart, not just when it is
convenient. Trusting God with your heart means that if you find yourself the
only person without a date, or look at your news feed and see that everyone
else is getting engaged, or you have never been in love, but have chased God as
your priority in life, you will know the closest thing to a Christ-like love in
this world.
The
problem is that there is no absence of “love” in society. People describe everything
from enjoying a certain type of food to deep affection for another human being
with the word “love.” There is such a wide variety of definitions it’s no wonder
we get confused about the true meaning! Do we feel love or do we do things in
love? Well, we do both. When we decide to
honor another person, love is the action we take no matter how we feel. The apostle John described love with the word
“agape” in Greek language. It is not merely a feeling based on emotion or
affection, although emotion can and will be present. Deep love is something we choose to do and
put our minds to doing. Agape love is
grace; it is undeserved love. There is a major difference between shallow love
and Christian love. Truth and love go hand-in-hand, so that where Christ’s truth
is, there true love will be, and where true love is there the Truth will be. Agape love is more than just a warm,
fuzzy feeling inside of us. Christian love is completely selfless, never
looking for a personal benefit. Does this mean we can never be angry with our
significant other? Absolutely not! It means we look to build them up, rather
than strike them down. It means that we strive to show Christ’s love to help
the other person feel loved by him. It may mean we don’t want to go to their
basketball game, but we do so to support them. It means we may not want to wake
up early to make breakfast for our whining kids, but we do so because we love
them. Christ’s love has zero hint of selfishness. It is sacrificing,
everlasting. It is not rude, does not boast, is not self-seeking, and keeps no
record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8). There’s no harm in keeping a list of
things you want in your future spouse and, if you’re like me, you already
may have made a list of characteristics. But I want you to use Scripture to
make that list. If you’re able to keep
chasing God and allow the godly man to chase you, you’ll find that all of those
characteristics get checked in time. Now, this isn’t a quick fix to the so
called “problem” of singleness. Yes, it may be lonely during the homecoming
dance, it may be difficult seeing everyone around you in seemingly happy
relationships, but there is no greater love than the love your Father in heaven
has for you. Trust him with your whole heart.
So
how will you know if the person that comes into your life is someone you should
be with? Remember that true love seeks the truth, is always healing, never
harming. If your relationship emphasizes Christ’s truth together and looks to
build each other up rather than cutting down, pray. That well may be the right relationship
for your future. Notice I didn’t say that it was the right relationship without
a doubt. God may bring many Christian men or women into your life, but relying
on the principles you learn in his Word, his truth will guide you toward godly
decisions. Date intentionally. A
boyfriend or girlfriend who does not love what you love cannot help you grow
closer to that love. If the person you have interest in is not following
Christ, then you need to reevaluate those feelings and think about who you’re
chasing. Agape love isn’t just
expressing your feelings; it’s also about listening to their feelings. Again,
it is selfless. When your significant other asks you about your day, without
hopes of more time to talk about theirs, it is an attempt to show love. A
pastor wisely said, “Listening in love means we seek to understand others on
their own terms, as they themselves want to be understood.” It goes beyond
being physically supportive. Listening to one another is possible because first
we listen to the Lord.
While
an unconditional love in this world can’t compare to the truly unconditional love
of Christ for his people, we can strive for such a love. Focus on Christ until
the person you will love always in Christ comes into your life. Whoever may
come down your road, always ask yourself, “Who am I pursuing?”
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